Monday, 4 June 2012

Bit of a heart to heart

Sometimes all seems chipper in the world of blog but all is not as it seems!

My working life is all consuming, work life balance is not happening at all.

My youngest girl leaves junior school this year and last summer after nearly missing the last day of the school year because i was working on teacher gifts for others i promised this last year i would make an effort... i have made it to one event and that was only because i was having a table with my things!

This makes me very sad, i have missed her exihibition, her assembly and perfomances and last week i missed the jubilee tea party ok ok i did make a couple of cakes but that was all!

I didn't go to church with them at Christmas, i haven't been on the school trips as normal and i no longer help with her swimming class!
90% of the time the children  are lucky to see me for more than a couple of hours and then i am normally catching up on emails etc.

I even missed two lots of parent evenings because i had to work at events.

We wont be going away again this year because i don't have the time... i have events every weekend now until mid July and then i am on Christmas making until October and then we are back to wall to wall events until i finish for Christmas.

I am cranky and mardy because i feel guilty. I am tired and miserable because they miss out on me just being a mum.

Life is not always what it seems, we don't swan around doing a little sewing and faffing around!

What i am trying to say is me, along with lots of other designer maker mums work our arses off!
I love what i do and wouldn't change but i do get a bit miffed when some people seem to think i am not working hard because i don't go to the office or shop.

There i have got that off my chest and should feel better but to be honest all i see is a big fat post with crap mum plastered across it!


Paula said...

Being self-employed is a lot harder than working in an office or shop for someone else, you have to work all hours almost everyday of the week. I understand perfectly what you mean, I worked from home for many years and people would comment on how nice it must be to be able to work the hours I wanted, to take a break whenever I felt like it, etc. If only they knew!

saraeden said...

Thank you so much Paula, your comment means loads to me.

I didn't want people to think i was a grumpy ungrateful mare, i do love working for myself... honestly x

Ren said...

Hang in there Sara, you arent alone!
The flip side is that you are teaching your children that there are other roads to success. One day that guidance may help them if they get stuck in a crap job somewhere that they hate!

Obviously... their Mummy is hard working, focused, dedicated and jolly clever for running her own business! Bet they like that feeling!

And last of all, you havent mentioned the fact that they live with you... (Im assuming this!) A huge amount of the most important moments in life, I think are the tiny daily ones. Bet you are always there for those! And I bet if you asked your children they would agree how much those little things matter.

Im a work at home Mother too so I know from experience how hard it can be juggling! Im sure we all worry too much though, and that doesnt help anyone! I dont think ive ever written so much in a comment before!!! Ren x

Josie said...

good post, well said! my son is now grown up and flew the nest a few years ago, this is not the first time I've been self-employed but at times, it feels like hubby thinks I'm just 'playing shop' because its not a 'proper 9-5' job!

please please make time for the family. Years ago in a town where I used to live, there was a mother rushing to get to work (a proper job), she was in a car accident, the twin children were killed, her and hubby split up and her mother committed suicide, no job is worth coming before family. I e-mailed someone else this a few years later as they too put work before family and about six months later, she e-mailed me back, to say she had left her job which she hated, now works part-time, spends time with her family and is much happier and thanked me for my advice!

...this is just my opinion on work/life balance, I realise we make our own choices and try to do what is best for us.

Josie x

Rhona said...

I agree with you totally! I don't think anyone understands what it's like unless they themselves work from home. I feel like I'm always 'on the job'. I'm forever worried about when the next lot of work will come in and then when it does, it's all consuming! Having said that though, I love it!!!