Saturday, 2 May 2009

What a week

Well yes hello there .... My name is Sara .... do you remember me ?

Yes i am the one who lives in the gorgeous Derbyshire countryside , not that you would be able to tell from my last few weeks .... yes can you tell i am a little disillusioned with my blog infact everything !!

I have mentioned before i want to do all these things to my blog andi have all these plans in my life but they never seem to get done and its not blogging that gets in the way its me !!

I have discovered this week while my darling Chrissy was away that something has to change ,
i tried a bloggy break to get things done but that didn't work maybe i didn't take long enough away maybe its because blogland seemed quiet and i thought i would return and everyone would be blogging again and all would be happy and perfect !!

What i really think the problem is i think i can be superwoman and i know i bloody well can't !!

I blog because i enjoy it and now i feel that i have let myself down because my house isn't all sparkly and shabby chic and nice and handmade !! Like some i see in blogland !!

* Update * my home is no palace is what i meant to say , some people seem to be able to get that glossy mag look . There is nothing wrong with that and they have beautiful homes .

My kids aren't perfect (well they are to me ok )
they break things and they draw on the walls when they really know not too ! They turn their noses up at "fancy food" and sometimes they just make me want to run away screaming !
Are there such a thing as perfect kids like the ones i seem to see in blogland sometimes !!

Do you see where i am going ?
My blog cannot be like others because my life isn't like others !
I don't have a big shiny house i have a 3 bed end terrace ok there are only 3 houses in the terrace and about 10 houses in the street !
I do have a good sized garden with the fields behind me and the valley stretching out in front of me !!
So i am lucky !!

We don't have pots of money infact i live with a student so money is not something we have lots of at all !!

So i am going to get on with being me a wahm mum with a little website and a little blog and i hope you will carry on visiting me because you like me !

I shall in return get off my lazy a**e and be a bit more well..... me !

I will be posting about what i make not because i want you too buy it ( you can if you would like too !! ) but because thats what i do , i sew to sell as a business .
I shall be posting about where i live because its lovely but also because its were i live !!

So there you go i am kinda glad i have got this off my chest and i hope i haven't offended those with perfect homes and kids !!

I may delete this post later but you know when you just have to say something ,
maybe you will read it and think .... im not going to her blog again .

I do hope you will keep coming back and now i am back on my own computermebob i shall be catching up with what you have all been writing and doing too i have tried to keep up and comment but its been hard work with no bookmarks or bloglines !!

Sara x


Julie said...

I know where you are coming from. I've felt some pressure too but I keep telling myself its my blog and I can do what I want, I really don't care if people like it or not. I just want a record of MY/OUR lives and MY thoughts at the time to look back on one day. Its nice when people comment or find what you do interesting enough to tell you but that not why I write.
Hope you feel better for getting things off your chest. Your blog is wonderful.

Josie said...

well done for posting , I know what you mean, please don't delete the post, my blog is an extension of our family website, as for perfect homes, not me, I took some pictures of our kitchen the other week, untidy with a pile of dirty pots in the sink but didn't post all of them , as like you look at others houses all perfect, as for money, hubby works , I don't , so anything I make or sell on ebay, I see as 'my money' , keep blogging!
Josie x

messyfish said...

yeah for you! Letting steam off on your blog. It makes it so much more real! Your neighbourhood sounds wonderful...I want to see those rolling green hills one day... and really are there any perfect kids out there? myn is ready to turn one soon, and omg its getting scary!!

Shell said...

I know what you mean,I feel like that a lot and you have said it way better than I could have.To be honest I would rather read and see photos of normal homes, something I can relate to.When I look at magazines and watch the Home progs on TV I always think where is the hoover, ironing board and ironing etc kept ? and the drawer full of rubbish that I have in the kitchen.Keep blogging I love to see all the things you make.

Debbie said...

Don't put yourself down Sara ... we all do the best we can and so what if we want to grab a little time for ourselves and if blogging is the way then so be it. I have just discovered blogging myself and find it a lovely way to reassure myself that there are some really good people out there and we seem to lead parallel lives. None of my circle are interested in crafts or thrifting so it is great to meet like minded people. There are also some really funny blogs that never fail to make me smile .. take a look at Menopausal Musing and Dollytub Cottage if you get the time. Don't beat yourself up ... I used to have a poster up on my fridge when my four were small to remind me what is important in life, it read ' ... an immaculate house is the sign of a wasted life ...' enjoy your family, blogging, making and doing and whatever else you want ... the housework can wait.

Mummy Boo Bear said...

Good for you for saying how it is.

I too live in a mid terraced house on the outskirts of town. I have wanted to move for a very long time indeed, but that is not going to be possible so I am struggling on, which I have to say some days seem more bloody harder than others.

My house isnt perfect things need painting and redoing and because I have already moved to somewhere much nicer (in my head) dont have the same desire to pretty up or make do. Our house is badly designed as we have only one bathroom just off the kitchen and I despair over it, we also live way too near my in-laws even though its a 25min drive from them I am thinking outer mongolia might just be far enough away!!!lol.

And I understand perfectly where you come from when you do some of those amazing looking houses etc I want to be able to put up the sort of pretty pictures that I eat up on others blogs but there is only some many nice corners in our dark old house that I can find! I have to admit i have been a bit disillusioned with the old blogging lark, I find it takes time to do a post and sometimes its just nice to have the feed back. But i must say i have read some of those perfect blogs and other must of commented on their "perfect" life, a lot of them say they just like to put the nice things on their blogs to keep their blog a happy place for them to be. An escape i guess.

As for kids well Boo Bear is definatly a whirling dervilsh most of the time and la la is a right old fussy eater and I despair of her.

Hope you do keep blogging as I for one love your work and hearing about where you live.

take care sorry about the long comment I must of needed to get that off my chest too! thank you.


louise35flower said...

Look at how many people follow your wonderful blog, please don't stop.
Doing something creative can be very rewarding and therapeutic when needed, but it can also be tough as you are truly giving something of yourself to other people and that can make you doubt yourself from time to time. I have found that those times do pass and now I do what I do for me and am learning to accept myself how I am and not worry about meeting other peoples idea of the perfect mum/woman.
Have a lovely weekend, failing that chocolate, or even both!
Louise x

Hannah said...

Sara, I have been following your blog since I started blogging last august because I enjoy reading about your life and what you make inspires me. I do not have children but I understand how you can feel bogged down by housework and feeling like its not good enough. I can't clean often as it makes me dizzy, I have learnt to ignore it but I still feel embarrassed when I get visitors.
I think one of the best things about blogging is that you have somewhere to vent and you have a community of people there willing to listen, it has and continues to help me a lot. I hope it has helped you and you can continue to get enjoyment from blogging as I enjoy reading your blog and would be sad if you stopped, and remember just because someone's house looks clean on photos doesn't mean that it actually is. ;) xxx

Rachel said...

Don't put yourself down, Sara. I like blogs that are "real", not perfect. I too live in a tiny 3 bed house that is definitely more shabby than chic & my housework skills leave a lot to be desired but I don't feel guilty (well, not too much!) about blogging and crafting because it gives me so much pleasure (and helps keep me sane!) Good for you for speaking your mind though, and please don't stop blogging - i love seeing all the pretty things you make.
Rachel x

Lyn said...

It would be a boring world if we were all perfect! Take a breath- Breathe, thats better!
I love your blog and will be back to read it!

Jackie said...

Don't measure your life against others. You are amazing you have five children! Thats a feat to be proud of.
I regularly read a very very beautiful blog.It seems to have an enviable lifestyle in it in a beee yoo tee ful place. I just happen to recognise that is selective photography that makes it look bee -yoo -tee- full.I delete half mine till I ifnd one that I think looks good. Most people are ordinary. Everyone has a struggle in a different part of their life.
Please continue to blog, but don't feel down or inadequate or inferior in some way.
We are all struggling in one way or another.

KtShortcake said...

Sara, I love your blog, personally I read about your family and where you live and get a little jealous! I'm based in Nottingham and long to move out to beautiful derbyshire, and we're yet to start a family! I often think that is must be really difficult to live in these perfect blog houses and keep up the perfect blog lifestyles, I'm quite happy and chilled in my not-so-perfect flat and not-so-interesting lifestyle, filling in my blog when I've got something to say (which is not very frequent recently!!!) but oh well, I'm happy! and that's the point, you blog because you like to, if people didn't like it they wouldn't read it!! Reading your blog interests me and you make it interesting and enjoyable!!!

Jenn said...

Don't delete the post. It is you, which is why I read your blog. And in honesty I know of no truly perfect children...there might be some good at hiding their flaws and blemishes from their parents (or is it the parents looking through lovely rose-tinted glasses into wonderland). I feel bad I don't blog nearly as often as many of you I read, but I just can't see sitting in front of this screen struggling to dream up something to type, when it has been just another day, like yesterday and the day before. And I wouldn't want to bore the world with the ups and downs of a stubborn 4 year old and an intrepid 14 month old that know exactly how to drive mommy round the bend on a regular basis. (let me stop and go take a picture of how adorable my blond haired, blue eyed 14 month old is before she destroys the house on a tornado of climbing, destruction and curiosity on a daily basis). Sorry,l got carried away. Thank you, Sara for being you. We love you just as you are...superwoman and all ;)

Hugs, Jenn

Pink Feather Paradise said...

Crumbs, I know what you mean, and I understand where you are coming from... but I still won't be posting photo's of my clutter and dirty dishes... I don't particularly want to accept it exists and I sure as hell don't want everyone else to know I am a slob...I think when you read a post you have to read between the lines a little... I often wonder if some peoples lives are as wonderful as they make out ... and sometimes I think they are possibly more depressed and lonely than I am... I know exactly what you mean about the stresses of being without your loved one Mr P has done his first week in New York and he has 4 more to go... the time difference is killing me... You blog whatever makes you happy... but it works both ways... if the perfect life bloggers are happy blogging sunshine and flowery days they have every right to... you have the choice not to follow them or read them as much as they can choose not to follow yours...

Life is one very huge struggle these days, and everyone is just trying to get through it... there is every chance we will loose our house this time next year.. but whats the point in worrying about it now... I have 2 beautiful children and a man that loves me unconditionally and if we end up in a tent we will still be happy...

sorry to dump my feelings in your comments section... feel free to delete it if I have offended you in any way... I enjoy reading your blog and seeing what you have made and what items you have repurposed... just keep doing whatever it is that makes you happy...

Alex x

Kitschy Coo said...

I'm glad you wrote this post! I totally understand where you're coming from. I think the 'perfect' blogs have a lot to answer for... yes, they are aspirational but based on my imperfect house and imperfect children, completely unrealistic and likely to just make me feel bad about myself. I tend to give them a wide berth. But I do love reading blogs by people like me, doing their best, making beautiful things to brighten up their imperfect lives. I find blogs like yours ten times more enjoyable than the perfect blogs! If you enjoy it, keep going, because you'll always have grateful readers :)

Oh... and while I was writing my response, my kids were eating Cheerios off the floor like dogs. Take that, perfect blogs!

Jude said...

Well, that got alot of interesting comments??
You daft *ugger, I've been around, well,you know what I mean, most of these blogs you speak about are written by people who are in the business and are using their blog as advertising or they want to be in the business. I know what your about, that's why i read your blog.
Surely being truthful with yourself is the main thing.
Write what your writing about, your family, your lovely, beautiful work....sod the rest, leave that to the image makers and their gilded cages.
People oooo! and aaah about where I live but we have loads of problems, some you just wouldn't believe! It's just abit hotter and everyone speaks a language we don't understand, eeeek!

Greedy Nan said...

Haven't read everyone else's comments yet but wanted to say that I'm also like you Sara and life isn't perfect and I don't think we would be contented if it was. It's the chaos that makes it all interesting. Well, I say that on a GOOD day - tomorrow may be different!
Great blog.

Tillyboo said...

I think a lot of us feel exactly the same. There are those blogs that look just, well, perfect. And you think to yourself, can life really be that perfect? everything with a glowy halo around it ? Hmm, maybe if you are very, very lucky perhaps.
Don't fret about. I think a blog should be 'real', an honest representation of how you feel and what you do. Don't forget though, you may see a blog post looking all amazing but how to you know there's not a pile of ironing or washing up lurking out of shot. It's a bit like seeing those perfect models - great to look at but they still fart, their poo won't smell of roses and they probably pick their noses too :)
I suppose what I am trying to say is that things may not always be what they imagine to be x

Rach said...

You know I'm so glad you've written this because I thin ALL of us have felt the same one at one point.

As far as the house goes - it's "lived-in" but 5 people and generally I'm the only one who tidies up/washed/cleans/ cooks/etc so No - it's not going to be perfect and I'm kind of glad of that. It's clean ..but it's a rare day indeed that you don't find a pile of washing to be folded awiting you on the settee! LOL

I always worry about friends having "show house" type homes and making mine look horrible but you know, they all have houses which are "lived in" too... only one friend has a perfect show house but works all week and her only child dpends HUGE amounts of time in daycare... Of Course it's going to be neat!

Every bit of our lives tells a story about us - an 'untidy' home to me means that you have more important things to do with your time... in my case playing with, caring for, feeding, loving and laughing with my children. :)

Jude said...

See! (look at my blog) we've got stupid stupid problems!!

Anonymous said...

Hi I'm back on line YAY ! and I totally agree with you Im going through the same thing .Im not on top of things in the house or my blog .I may even stop blogging.I don't get anything out of blogging anymore .I get loads of visits and hardly any comments .I find some blogs very clique .
I love your blog and I love your honesty nobody lives in a perfect world or home for that .My house looks tidy but the cupboards are really messy thats a secret okay ! LOL !
I love the dresses you have been making Im sure they will sell well sooooo pretty .
My Mum gets sew hip then i rob it off her .I like the mag but I sometimes think its a bit too easy .
Don'T worry about getting things off your chest ,it shows that you are real and honest I admire that .
Love and a blog hug from sesga xxx